Becoming more Sri Lankan

I know I’ve been here a long time now, not just in the days marked off on a calendar, but because of changes in my attitude.

One of these is the adjustment to the climate. Don’t get me wrong it’s still bloody hot – to take a quote from Good Morning Vietnam “it’s hotter than a snakes ass in a wagon rut” – but I notice when the temperature drops below 30ºC. Whilst tourists are happy to dive in the sea I find myself shivering and considering putting on a jumper and thinking that they must be insane to take a dip in such conditions.

In the last couple of weeks there has been an influx of tourists, considerably more than this time last year and I am drawn to looking at them; it’s just so unusual to see so many white people walking around the village. Even more unusual is the sight of white people walking around Galle. But why oh why do they insist on wearing beach attire into town. It's just so wrong!! Perhaps I should be a bit more tolerant the next time some dork on a moped nearly drives into the back of a bus because he’s too busy looking at me on the back of my motorbike. It does grate a bit when you get stared at so much and it makes you want to snap “haven’t you seen a bloody white person before”. Especially in a country that was under colonial rule for so long!

The Sri Lankan’s actually have a lovely phrase for dealing with such intrusive behaviour and it translates into “have I got a parade going across my face”. I haven’t actually dared to use it yet because I get things mixed up and would probably end up telling them that my uncle’s goat fornicated with the dog! My mispronunciation of things is normal; I murder people’s names so it’s safer for me to stick to Malli – young brother.

Me and a friend went on a shopping trip to Colombo the other day and overdosed on junk food, but you know what – McDonald’s breakfast was great but give me fresh curry and fresh bread any day.

Garlic is another issue. I remember that before coming here buying maybe a bulb a month and using just one clove was acceptable, two was just insane! Now it’s bought by the kilo and one clove is considered a waste of time; half a bulb goes in to every meal and it’s quite normal. I do probably reek of the stuff, however and this was brought home to me after the Colombo trip. I didn’t eat any garlic all day, but when I came home I noticed it so much on Raja when normally I wouldn’t be able to detect it.

It is a fallacy that garlic keeps mosquitoes away. Given that every day I am consuming at least half a bulb I still get bitten every night.

I also recall being intimidated by fresh chillies and using them sparingly having made sure to remove the seeds whilst wearing rubber gloves. Not so now; unsheathed hands chop the whole lot in and whack it in. The chilli-con-carne that I prepared and considered to be quite mild in heat had Raja perspiring profusely and reaching for the coconut to tone it down.