Anniversaries

I realise that I'm a little late in writing this, but it's been buzzing around my head for ages and the weeks following New Year I was preoccupied with matters of excess baggage and I don't mean on an emotional level.

There is something about the start of a New Year that always has me pondering events of the past and the passing of time since those events happened. It's hard to believe that some of them are so long ago now, but it's also a reminder that time does in fact heal.

So these are what I consider some of the major landmarks and events in my life.

41 years ago - The obvious one, my birthday.

25 years ago - Left school

25 years ago - Dancing the George in Belper

25 years ago - Drove Dad mad with Frankie Goes to Hollywood Relax at full blast

20 years ago - Joined the police - possibly not my best move ever

20 years ago - Met ex-husband - I thought he looked like Rutger Hauer (well you had to squint and put your head on one side!)

18 years ago - Married ex-husband - complete with bouncers posted around the church to keep out psycho ex-wives and ex-girlfriends (yes, I know I should have paid more attention to the alarm bells in my head, but hindsight is a glorious thing)

11 years ago - Hmmm 7 years of boredom have passed! Anyway, this is the year that I make the decision that will throw everything into freefall - I apply to go into Police Training School to teach IT

9 years ago - The holiday when I realised my marriage was over. After 3 weeks of birdwatching in torrential rain around Malaysia I get to spend a week in my dream place, Pangkor Laut resort. Unfortunately all Mark did was moan about the lack of birds and focus on writing his notes instead of enjoying time with his wife in one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to on earth.

9 years ago - I have a nervous breakdown curtesy of events in Police Training School.

9 years ago - Finally snap and decide to leave my husband. Don't know what I thought would happen when I uttered those fateful words "I want a divorce" but it wasn't quite as instant as I thought it would be hence.....

8 years ago - Cut my hair ridiculously short and dyed it dark blue.

8 years ago - Move out of matrimonial home into my own place and start living my life.

8 years ago - Pass my motorbike test and buy my first motorbike a Honda CBR600 and start to emmerse myself into the biking scene.

8 years ago - Am rescued from myself repeatedly by a very dear friend whom I really put the ringer. A very big apology for all the heartache I caused you and a huge thankyou for saving me.

8 years ago - Work my last day for the police.....Nearly another year of battles and torment to follow before I'm set free.

8 years ago - Maddison is born and opens my heart to loving children. I never thought it would happen and I'm still amazed by the powerful impact my neice had on me.

7 years ago - Get my first tattoo.

7 years ago - Spend 10 days at Flint House, Police Convalescent Home which turns out to be very depths of my despair, but also my turning point. The climb back to sanity begins

7 years ago - Tarka came into my life and saved me. He becomes my reason to function everyday

7 years ago - Spent a very special summer with someone who has to remain nameless, but it's one of those periods in time that I treasure forever. Endless hours of fun chasing each other around on motorbikes and falling in love. Tery Jacks - Seasons in the sun reminds me of you and Blurry by Puddle of Mud makes me sad when I think how different things could have been if you'd asked me for a drink 24 years ago when you wanted to.

7 years ago - My first Rock and Blues festival. It was the climax to that special summer and the last chance we had to be together.

7 years ago - The Police decide I'm to be retired, too much of a hot potato. Don't think going 'missing' after a night out with a friend helped and god knows how many people involved in looking for me. LOL

7 years ago - I decide to take my life in a new direction and to give something back to others who are experiencing what I'm going through - I start my training to become an Aromatherapist

7 years ago - Get involved with wierd Richard. He was too good to be true, nearly 40, into bikes single, no children, no ex-wives what more could a girl want. Oh and he'd had a complete emotional bypass. My birthday present was a pressure washer. Don't think Mel Gibson's film What Women Want was out yet.

6 years ago - Qualify as a massage therapist

6 years ago - Angels reintroduce themselves to my life

6 years ago - Another summer of motorbikes, but eventually decide I've had enough of Richard's behaviour and call it a day.

6 years ago - Meet Dave of the Huge Ears. It was always amazing that he could get a motorbike helmet over them.

6 years ago - Start teaching Anatomy, Physiology and Massage and Aromatherapy. Still not sure how that happened, but I met some amazing and gifted people in that time. It was a pleasure to share a little of their journey with them

6 years ago - Divorce finally comes through

5 years ago - Dave moves his kids in. Oh god what hell that was! What the police did didn't even come close to this.

5 years ago - Experience my first ever broken heart with the eviction of Dave. Not sorry to see the back of his ghastly children however.

5 years ago - Bought another motorbike Suzuki SV1000 and a beautiful African Grey parrot called Gabriel.

4 years ago - Have a fab season on my motorbike and try to rebuild my life after Deadly Dave. Make some amazing new friends who take me under their wings.

4 years ago - Meet a guy who turns out to be the catalyst for the next stage of my life.

4 years ago - Decide to sell my house and go travelling. Sri Lanka is calling to me for some bizarre reason.

4 years ago - Land the best job on the planet. Working a few hours a week at Ginger Cards in Matlock. It was so much fun and brought me out of myself. I had the opportunity to work for a brilliant lady. It wasn't like going to work at all and I even got paid for it. Thanks Lynn.

4 years ago - Lose a dear friend in a motorbike crash. Phil took me under his wing at my lowest point after Dave and included me; he made sure I didn't sit around feeling miserable and he gave me the confidence to ride my bike like I stole it.

3 years ago - The house is finally sold and I'm free.

And 3 years ago I arrive in Sri Lanka and begin a whole different adventure.

The strange thing is that until I actually typed out that list I didn't realise how much has happened to me in the years since I left Mark and how little happened in the time that was with him. It was totally unmemorable. It's only when I look back at this stuff that I appreciate how much I have achieved and experienced, most of it on my own. Often I will stop to take a breath and marvel at the moment I exist in and wonder 'how the hell did I get here'.

Thanks to all those people who have crossed my path on this madcap journey of mine and thanks for all the gifts and life-lessons you have brought me.